4 weeks ago
12
Look, we should all strive to be good people and all, but sometimes...sometimes it's okay to break a *few* rules, particularly if you're not hurting anyone.
While I can't endorse everything I saw there, I spotted a few useful "unethical" life tips over on r/UnethicalLifeProTips. Here are some that seem harmless enough...and may help you out of a bind!
1. "Looking for a gently used video game console/game/tablet this holiday season? Wait outside a GameStop, find someone trading in what you want, and tell them you will give them $25 more than whatever GameStop offers them."
2. "To catch a food thief in a way that won't get you sued, use food coloring. It's simple: Take a jelly donut, take a plastic syringe or a baster, and take a package of food coloring. Mix together an atrocious amount of red and blue food coloring, then inject them into the jelly donut. The color will go unnoticed until the thief has their lips, hands, teeth, and possibly shirt covered in a hideous dark purple shade that will not come off for days. It's not toxic, it won't induce allergies, it's not a laxative, and it's not even spicy. Undetectable until it’s too late."
3. "If you're using a service's free trial and plan on purchasing it, cancel the trial period before it automatically charges you. Companies will often offer you a discount to get you to stay."
4. "To get a 'new customer discount' over and over, add a . to your Gmail address."
"Gmail doesn't recognize periods in email addresses, so abc123@gmail.com is the same as a.b.c.1.2.3@gmail.com. You can use this to repeatedly redeem new customer discounts without the bother of opening a new email account."
"You can also use + symbols as well."
5. "Do you and your partner want to visit historic buildings/museums but can't afford the entrance fee? Pretend you're engaged and are considering the location as your wedding venue. You'll get in for free and be given a tour."
"I take tons of tours and have even used this exact tactic to get into historical homes that are now wedding venues or event spaces. However, the problem is that the tour they set you up on usually lacks luster in detail about the history and people who lived in the house. The kicker is that most, if not all, the furniture is removed, leaving nothing but a shell and floor space, which is cool from an architectural point of view but otherwise uneventful."
6. "If you’re having to FaceTime with a relative and you don’t want to talk to them very long, start the conversation by saying your phone is only at 5% battery and it might die soon. Then just hang up in a few mins."
7. "If you are in a crowded nightclub and trying to find your way out, start to run and pretend you are about to vomit."
8. "Break off the end of any random key in your possession and use it as a prop/proof as to why you're late for any obligation (work, social, family) by telling them, 'My stupid key broke off in my door. Had to call a locksmith/landlord.'"
9. "Send a wedding invite to every billionaire you can find an address for, as there's a good chance their assistants just send you a gift without ever confirming who you are or if their boss knows you."
"I kinda did this when I graduated high school. Graduation invites were, like, 100-pack minimum, and we used about 70, so I just snagged ~30 random people out of the phone book (Yes, the giant yellow book) and sent them off.
Rewards were reaped, thank-you cards were sent out."
10. "Don't remove the towel, drag the pool lounger 30 feet away. We've all seen the ghost town of resort loungers 'reserved' at 7 a.m. by people who won't show up until noon. If you just take their towel off and lie down, you're setting yourself up for an awkward shouting match when they finally return, demanding their spot. Here is the move: Ditch the towel (toss it in the return bin so it looks like hotel staff confiscated it). Drag the entire lounger 10 to 15 meters away to a completely different spot. Set your own things up and relax. When they finally walk up hours later, their spatial reference is completely gone. They won’t recognize the spot, they’ll assume staff cleared the deck, and they'll wander off in total confusion without ever suspecting you're sitting on their exact chair. Zero confrontation, 100% effective."
11. "If your family or roommates dont want to upgrade internet speed, just go into the router admin settings and set their devices to one of the lowest bandwidths possible. When they start complaining about it, just tell them that upgrading the internet will fix the problem."
12. "Did you get the dreaded SSSS on your boarding pass? Just throw it away and pull up your boarding pass on your phone. Confirmed that this works just a few days ago. I went to the airline desk to check a bag, and she printed me a paper boarding pass. I look at it on my way to TSA and notice she wrote SSSS on it. A quick Google search informed me that I was randomly selected for secondary screening. Since I had already checked in on the app, I opened it up and displayed my boarding pass, which did not have the SSSS on it. I got to TSA, showed my ID, scanned the boarding pass on my phone, and went on my merry way. No secondary screening!"
13. "If you can't get your roommate to clean up, create a fake Tinder profile, match with them, and tell them you're coming over. They'll leave the place absolutely spotless in no time."
14. "If you clog the toilet at a party, find the host and ask them where the bathroom is. Walk to the bathroom and immediately return and tell them it is clogged. There's no way you clogged it in 15 seconds."
15. "If you get caught staring at a woman and her boyfriend gets confrontational, just say, 'I'm sorry she reminds me of my dead girlfriend, is all.'"
16. "During your last semester of college, get your student ID photo retaken. You’ll have a more believable ID for student discounts/perks for a few extra years after graduating."
17. Or... "Take easy, fun classes every now and then at your local community college. In PA, they are, like, $300, and I prob save more on software than the class costs. You still have a student email address and ID. Plus, you get to learn a new skill or just cool stuff."
18. "When traveling with a significant other, always pretend you're on your honeymoon. When people think you’re on your honeymoon, they want to make it special! Airlines want to bump you up to business class. Hotels want to upgrade you to a suite. Just tell everyone that you're on your honeymoon, and you'll be amazed at the special treatment you get."
19. Be careful with this, as you may get fired, but... "Make a customer mad at work? Give them your number and say it's the manager's! I did this tonight. I’m a shift lead at a popular chain and had a lot of things I had to do before I left. I closed the store seven minutes early, which is pretty insignificant imo. I locked the door while the last customer was having their order made. On her way out, a man barges in, angry and demanding the manager's number. This dude always comes in at the last minute and gets an extremely complicated and time-consuming order, which always sets us back when closing. I had had enough and gave him my number. When he called, he was just as angry and demanding. As a 'manager,' I told him I can only assist people who respect my staff and me. He said he would never come back and hung up. Not only did I get to close early, but I also got rid of another thorn in my side!"
20. "If you want to call in sick and need a certificate from the doctor, you can often triple the duration of your certificate by telling the doctor that you're working in the food industry."
21. "If you need a doctor's note to get out of a commitment, go to a doctor and give symptoms of a stomach virus: i.e., diarrhea, fatigue, and vomiting. The doctor will diagnose almost no questions asked, and because of the short duration of such illnesses, no one will question your fast recovery."
22. "The number of men that will argue they don't need to wash their hands after the restroom is high enough that straight men can bring this up at a party to thin out the competition for straight women there. Any conversation about hand washing among men will bring unaware guys out of the woodwork to argue hard for why you shouldn't have to do it. Some got even worse post-shutdown. Most women find this revolting. Straight men can use this to their advantage by casually bringing up the topic in a mixed setting and letting the fallout begin. You also find out who to never share bowls of chips with."
23. "If you're an eBay shopper, wait until just before rent is due and make a bunch of lowball offers. I run an eBay shop, and every month, for the week before rent is due, I pretty much take any offer somebody makes. The life of an eBay seller is full of uncertainties, and oftentimes, rent is one of those things. I can't speak for every seller, but I imagine a lot of them operate the same way."
24. "When you are somewhere you're not supposed to be, but need to ask a question, use 'we/our' instead of 'you/your.' It will make you seem more like you belong there. Example: A security guard walks up while you're wandering around looking for trouble. 'Hey, do we have a bathroom near here?' sounds a lot more like you work there than 'Hey, do you have a bathroom around here?' which makes you sound like a vagrant looking for a place to pee."
25. "Want to save money at Kohl's? Purchase four or five low-value items on Amazon, then return each item through Kohl’s on consecutive days to stack the $5 Kohl's cash they give you to get up to a $30 discount on an item."
26. "Return a TV or laptop online and buy it back as 'open box' for a steep discount. This really only works well if you buy a model that has no open box models, since that will affect your chances of getting your old item back. Done right, this can easily save you at least $200, depending on the TV or laptop."
27. "If you forgot to reply to a text, or it was important, send the message you would have sent five times, followed by a 'Are you getting my messages?' text."
"Even better yet, set it to airplane mode, send it five times, and the 'Are you getting my texts?' and then quickly switch airplane mode off, and they’ll all come through at the same time."
28. "Always use a Visa gift card with no money on it to try out subscriptions online that you don't want to pay for. Or you can pay via PayPal with the card linked to a dud account. This works most of the time if you can't pay because it's a prepaid card. It doesn't work all the time, but this method has worked for me 90% of the time."
29. "Use a quick sign language gesture to stop people from trying to approach you in public. It works great on kiosk vendors trying to sell you phone service and internet. Also works well on people with clipboards hunting for donations."
"Just point up, while looking at the sky as if a large boulder is about to fall on them. They look up, you keep walking."
30. "Save around $80 per person when you fly with three bags of candy at the airport. Sometimes, it results in upgrades as well. This is great for a la carte airlines where you pay extra for a carry-on, checked bag, drinks, or snacks on the flight. It’s literally just gifting a bag of candy during each stage of your departure. One to the check-in agent, one to the gate agent, and one to the flight crew (who will treat you like you hung the fucking moon). These people have typically had rough days dealing with the public, and the little treat/being thought of generally generates a positive response; upgrades, no bag fees, etc. I have had a 100% success rate, saving about $300 each flight for my family of four for the last five years."
"I have also found that doing the same thing with rental cars typically results in a jump in upgrades. I ALWAYS book the cheapest car, hand over a bag of candy, and typically get to pick what I ride out in. It's a win/win for you and the usually underappreciated employee.
As far as ethics, I think it skirts the line: You're taking 100% of a surcharge away from a shit company and giving 10% to one of their lowly employees in hopes of earning their good favor. The thing is, they're always gonna let you slide because they work for a shit company, have dealt with real-life trolls all day, and it's just fucking nice for someone to bring you a bag of candy (except those dudes with the vans, don't take their candy).
Just say, 'Hey, I've got a friend in the industry, and she's told me some horror stories about customers. We brought you a treat to brighten your day up a little.' Feel free to swap up words; the biggest thing is to be as genuine as your heart can muster. DO NOT ASK for free shit, you are relying on the social contract of gift giving. Just be pleasant, offer up your candy sacrifice, and hopefully reap some benefits."
31. "Tell your kid that if he or she doesn't brush their teeth well enough, they'll all fall out. When they start to lose their baby teeth, tell them they didn't do a good enough job. This way, they'll brush their adult teeth really well."
32. "Parents of young kids: Keep a stash of dead batteries with your good batteries. When the batteries die on an annoying toy, replace them in front of the kid from your dead battery stash. 'Aww, sorry, honey, I just replaced the batteries, but I guess it just doesn't work anymore.'"
"Nah. The hustle here is that you can 'take it to work to fix it' and bring it back a few days later, working — now you're a hero."
Or: "My dad taped over the speakers in my brother's annoying toys."
33. "Open up small cards in your kid's name with your name attached to boost your kid's credit score. Charge small things like chewing gum and pay them off every month. Keep this up for, like, 17 years, and your kids will be 18 with 17 years of credit history! Best 18th B-day present ever? 18 y/o with a 750 FICO."
34. "If you need longer than the checkout period to finish the e-book you borrowed, just put your e-reader in airplane mode. Even after the due date passes and the e-book is automatically 'returned' to the library shelf, it will remain on your device until it's reconnected to the internet and automatically loses the book. I've been reading off and on for a couple of months past the due date on my Kindle with no problem. And because the book's availability isn't dependent on whether the copy is downloaded to your e-reader, you're not holding it hostage from other library customers."
35. "Looking to save money? Tell companies you were just laid off. Tired of paying so much for TV, internet, etc., and struggling to negotiate over the phone? You could always threaten to cancel your subscription, but lately I've found telling the person on the phone, 'Hey, I love your service, but I was just laid off last week and can't afford it anymore. Is there anything you can do to help me out?' It's non-combative and wins them over to your side; layoffs are rampant, so it's believable, and if it doesn't work, you can always threaten to cancel and get sent to reclamations."
36. If someone is recording you and you do not want to be recorded... "Pull up a Disney song on your phone. Disney doesn't play around with that." (Why? Copyright reasons. The video will probably get taken down.)
37. "Tell anyone that tries to sell you a timeshare or vacation rental that you are a travel agent. They'll immediately leave you alone."
38. "If you have jury duty, buy insurance stocks in your IRA. A large number of jury trials involve insurance companies. You can't be unbiased if you hold stock in an involved insurer. Buy one share of every public insurance company you can to get out of jury duty involving any of those companies. If you do this in an IRA, there are no tax implications with just converting to a bunch of insurance stocks the day before jury duty and reverting to your previous investments once your service is over. You can expand this strategy to include other public companies that operate in your area."
39. Or... "My friend who's a judge said to just say, 'If they've been arrested, they must be guilty of SOMETHING,' and it'll get you out every time."
40. "Get an 'OFFERCODE10' discount code for $10 off, or something similar with a number? Try swapping in some higher numbers in place of 10. I've gotten bigger discounts several times now where I abandoned a shopping cart, got a discount code sent to me, but wasn't satisfied with the amount of the discount. So I'll try a handful of random numbers instead of the 10 or whatever they sent me. Oftentimes, there are higher discount tiers that still work. For example, I just recently got a $30 discount rather than a $10 discount using this trick."
41. "How to get Halloween decorations for deep discounts: My kid is obsessed with those huge animatronics from Home Depot. They cost $300–$400 each, but at the end of Halloween, they go on sale for 75% off. The problem is that as these sales happen, the items go out of stock, or employees buy them up. This year, what I did was buy the items at full price right as October started. This ensured the items were still in stock. I selected PICKUP, which ships the items to the store, and delivery times go out one to two weeks later. When the items arrived, I kept delaying pickup. In the app, it gives you a week to get the items, but you can push it back."
"Eventually, the items went on sale, but of course, they were 'sold out.' I called Home Depot customer service, and they said they don't price-match items that are sold out, surprise, surprise. When I went to pick up the items, I eventually just went to customer service and said I’d like to have these price-adjusted. If they say no, then you say you want to return the items and rebuy them immediately. I walked out with $800 of animatronics for $200."
42. "If you want people to stop letting their dogs shit on your lawn, don't put up a 'No dogs allowed' sign or a 'please pick up your shit' sign...put up a 'Lawn Recently Treated with Toxic Pesticides' sign. Nobody wants their doggo or pupper walking around on/accidentally ingesting poison."
43. Have a neighbor who's making your life miserable? "Use agricultural-grade mint bombs to destroy someone's yard. Search for Bad Apples Doublemint bomb on eBay; it has two of the most aggressive mint plants on earth combined. Super wild life-ruining coverage. Throw them a few days before it rains."
"I prefer carrot seeds. It's a passive-aggressive trick we played on each other in Nebraska.
You cast the seeds across the yard, even better if you take a bit of time to press as many as you can a finger deep into the grass. If you got the right carrots, they will have massive weeds that they will not be able to get to go away until they grab really good at the root and are surprised by a whole damn carrot popping out of their yard."
44. "Don't boycott, buy stuff and return it later. Big-box retailers generally lose money on returns, even if it's just the labor to inspect them and put them back in stock. Buying some stuff and then returning it near the end of the return period can also create more stock in the store than room on the shelf, as they weren't planning to have that inventory back. There are exceptions, though; for example, some retailers have arrangements with manufacturers so that products on their shelves are still owned by the manufacturer (like with expensive tools at the orange box store). Just don't be dumb, a lot of stores could refuse a return if they suspect this is what you are doing."
45. "When buying furniture or house repair items in the US, go to your local USPS and get a change of address mailer. You're not required to change your address, and inside there are several discount coupons from stores like Lowe's, Wayfair, and Overstock.com. I once even got a 10% off coupon for Publix."
46. "Want to get 10–15% off the expensive item online, but it is not on sale? Add items to the cart and start the checkout process all the way until payment, then leave it for a few days. You will probably get a coupon code with a discount to complete your order."
47. "If you're ever in traffic and nobody is letting you merge — cut the Tesla off. They'll have to let you in."
48. "If you ever get caught sleeping at your desk at work, say, 'They told me at the Blood Bank that this would happen.' Works better with a bandage. Also, if it's allergy season, say it's because of your antihistamines."
49. "Keep an old parking fine ticket with you so if you need to park illegally, you can put the ticket under your windscreen wiper so the parking inspectors will think you’ve already been marked!" Note: This may not work, and you could still end up with a ticket, but it's still worth a try if you HAVE to park during street cleaning or something.
50. "If you want to cancel a gym membership and the gym says you have to come in to do it, just tell them you’ve moved out of state already and forgot. They'll send you an online form. (Although this isn't really 'unethical' as much as it is avoiding the scummy and predatory cancellation policy that most gyms have.)"
"Or: If you have trouble getting out of a Planet Fitness membership, just lie and say you're in the military and you're getting deployed.
This worked a few years ago when I noticed that Planet Fitness was still charging me $10 a month, as I'd been too lazy to write them a letter or whatever other bullshit they require you to do instead of just being able to cancel online."
51. "Use your HSA/FSA to pay for ritzy gym memberships to meet rich people."
Though — "US tax code does not allow using your HSA/FSA account to pay for gym memberships UNLESS you provide a simple Letter of Medical Necessity you can buy online FOR ($15–$30) or get from your PCP free. Google how and where to get this because I don't want to advertise any specific service. This just says something like:
'To manage the diagnosis, the recommended approach includes a fitness studio, fitness app, or gym. Treatment: membership, or personal training to achieve 150 minutes of structured cardio and strength.'
You can then go to gyms like Equinox or Lifetime Fitness or other ritzy gyms wealthy people go to and use a high-rewards credit card to pay the fees, then submit them to your HSA/FSA provider along with the letter to get reimbursed.
I’ve started making friends with other members and have a much better quality of life because I have made rich friends who invite me to rich people's stuff and always pay. The benefits are limitless if you're assertive and likable with these people."
52. Also... "You can get the same kind of letter to help fund gym equipment like a new e-bike."
"And protein, daily greens, vitamins, meal replacement, shoes, sleep tracking, bone broth, electrolyte packs, beef, etc., etc., etc."
53. And... "You don't have to reimburse yourself immediately for HSA expenses. You can keep the receipts and reimburse yourself 30 years from now, after your money has grown, still tax-free. Look up the HSA decades of receipts method online. I think of it as a secondary emergency fund."
"You upload the receipts immediately to the HSA portal and mark them as 'reimburse me later.' I have close to $5,000 in uploaded HSA receipts. The HSA money is actually in a Schwab HSA account, making money off the stock market. Made over $1,000 this past year on a precious metals ETF.
If I need money, sell the ETF, transfer funds back to HSA, and tell HSA to send up to $5,000 to my checking account. Good emergency fund with about a day to get the money. Yes, the stock market could tank tomorrow, but it’s highly unlikely that I would need it. I plan to reimburse myself from the HSA when I need money but don’t want to affect my income during retirement prior to Medicare, when I will likely be on a Healthcare Marketplace (Obamacare) plan."
54. "To get through busy crowds, try shaking a tin of coins and smiling at people. They will think you are collecting donations and avoid you at all costs."
55. "If you're going to die soon and have a ton of medical debt, get a divorce. I work as an advisor for a large hospital, and as long as there is no spouse, debt is written off upon the patient's death. Nothing goes to the next of kin. It can hit the estate, but unless the estate is in control of lawyers, that money just dies with the patient. Don't pass on your debt. Die legally single."
56. "If you are having a hard time looking for a job, check the obituaries. Find the dead person's LinkedIn, because they will not be going to work on Monday...if they had a career that you are qualified for or are striving to get into, reaching out to that employer is very opportunistic and in your favor during that time of disarray."
57. "If a company ghosts you, send them a glitter bomb. It's a great way to get back at someone without causing any real danger. Depending on the brand, the glitter goes everywhere and is usually really annoying to remove from things like carpet. Also, if a lawyer opens it, they're likely to charge the client their full rate while they have the cleaning done. Bonus points if it leads to someone being accused of infidelity later on. It's harmless and annoying. But less annoying than being ghosted. I think it's the correct way for an interviewee to show they care."
58. "Remember the power of booing. It's not just for sports fans to show their disapproval; it's meant for anyone to show their disapproval. And it is very distracting. On college campuses, for instance, you'll occasionally have preachers or religious fanatics spouting off some potentially hateful things. Some students will try to argue with them to no avail. Just boo them. Booing drowns out what that person is saying or doing, and there is no thinking needed. You don't need to respond to their arguments, think of counterpoints, etc. Just boo them."
"If you're at a protest or speech and people or the speaker are saying awful stuff that you disagree with? Just boo them. Do your parents start going off on a tangent about an unpopular opinion they have? Just boo them. Someone makes an awkward joke at work, or says something intentionally weird or hurtful? Don't ask them to repeat it. Just boo them. Don't waste your time and energy on people who don't deserve it. Just drown out what they are saying, or annoy them to the point where they are quiet or leave by...booing them. It's really easy."
59. "When someone weaponizes religion/morality, make them do the paperwork. If you've got that one relative/coworker/neighbor who can't just disagree like a normal person and instead goes straight to 'God says...,' 'A good person would...,' 'You're being selfish,' etc., stop defending yourself. Defending gives them energy. They want you emotional and scrambling, and they get to sit there looking righteous. The move is to treat their little sermon like it's an assignment they have to cite. Stay calm, keep your voice neutral, and ask slow, annoyingly sincere follow-up questions like you're trying to understand. 'What exactly do you mean by that?' 'Where does it say that?' 'What's the rule, specifically?' 'How would you apply it if the roles were reversed?'"
"It sounds polite, but it forces them to do actual work instead of just tossing shame grenades and walking away. The trick is you don't argue the conclusion, you interrogate the framework. When they say, 'Family comes first,' you go, 'Okay, what does "first" mean in practice, like, what am I required to do, and what am I not required to do?' When they say, 'Respect your elders,' you go, 'Sure, what does respect look like when the elder is being cruel? Is it still respect to let them hurt someone?' If they try to dodge with 'You know what I mean,' you don't let them. 'I honestly don't, can you define it?' Repeat their words back, slightly simplified, and ask if that's what they mean. Make them confirm their own harshness out loud. Most of these people are running on vibes and confidence, not logic. The moment they have to explain it, they either spiral into nonsense or they get mad because the spell breaks.
And if they get loud, you get softer. 'I'm not trying to fight, I just want to understand what you're asking me to do.' Now they're the ones looking unhinged while you're 'just asking questions.' It's not about winning a debate, it's about draining them until they decide you're too much effort and go bother someone easier."
60. Also... "If you're in a flame war, don't try to think of smart put-downs; just go really dumb. There's nothing more frustrating that arguing against someone who's too dumb to realize your put-down was clever. The problem with flame wars is that you're reliant on the other person understanding why what you just said is a clever put-down. Play into this, and act too dumb to get it. This leaves them powerless. It's also universally grating to argue with someone who's too dumb to realize what a dummy they are."
"One time, I got into an argument with a guy who had a southern US accent. I kept calling him a 'Yankee,' and when he told me he was a southerner, I pretended I thought he meant he was from South America, and kept calling him a commie liberal. There was nothing he could do with that level of dumb.
You've really got to convince them you're that dumb, don't let them realize it's an act. Exude a massive amount of unearned confidence and extreme satisfaction in your own bullshit. This one is the most important."
61. "Don't want to pay for garbage pickup? Just put your trash in old Amazon boxes and leave them on your porch. You're not just saving money, you're recycling, too."
62. "When you keep getting called by telemarketers... "Call back to the number...after around 10–15 calls, they will block YOU. I'll sell them natural gas, extended car warranty, whatever."
63. Another idea? "My mother thought she'd be doing me a favor by submitting my phone number to some random health insurance quote site. I literally started getting calls within 10 seconds, and they didn't stop for weeks. At its worst, I counted 78 calls in 48 hours. I DID figure out how to make them stop, though! I started submitting the numbers they were calling from to the same health insurance quote site that my number was submitted to, like some sort of hellish telecommunications loop. Within a few days, the calls stopped for the most part."
64. Or... "Just answer the phone in another language. German seems to confuse most people."
65. "If a customer service call starts with an AI bot, swear to get a human. A surprising number of companies have set up an AI assistant to answer their customer care calls. It assumes swear words and angry customers need a human agent, so the system may transfer you faster."
"My go-to is to speak full gibberish. One to two rounds usually gets 'I can't understand, transferring you to an associate.'"
66. "Just call and keep asking to speak with someone higher. Ever find that your credit card interest is too high? Or that fee charged by your checking account is high? Just keep asking for someone higher! I work for a bank, and most of the time, if you request to speak with someone higher (manager, supervisor, i.e.), the person who comes on the line will end up waiving the fee. If not, just ask for the next highest person; someone can always override it! Now the biggest trick to it is to be nice! Don't curse, scream, or shout. Just politely say, 'I've been with you for a long time, and I want a courtesy.' This works even multiple times a year. It especially works if you reach a USA-based customer service, as most of them have the power to override the system."
67. "Dispose of small, heavy items for free at the airport. Travel buddy and I disposed of 30KG worth of broken dumbbells (plates for dumbbells) by taking them in our carry-on suitcases and letting airport security dispose of them for free instead of checking the dumbbells. (It would’ve cost a lot of money to dispose of them in Hong Kong, and I can't really sell the exercise equipment here as my friend's dad can't figure out Marketplace, and my friend moved to another country.)"
68. "Have an upcoming stay you need to get out of, but you aren't within their cancel window? DO NOT tell them it's a 'family emergency'; that's not typically one they will make an exception for. What they will make an exception for (if they will, and most reputable places do make exceptions) is MEDICAL. You do not need to clarify; just say you need to cancel due to medical, and leave it at that. Ask what their options are, if they can work with you, and be pleasant. No one who deals with cancellations all day wants to speak with a whiney brat or a douchebag. Just ask if they can cancel with a refund first. If not, then ask if they can move dates without penalty. Lastly, if they still say no, very calmly and politely ask to speak with a manager."
"Tell them you have new dates already. (This usually helps a lot.) Lastly, NEVER book a non-refundable room more than a week in advance. Something like half of our rooms are canceled that are booked six months in advance, and we have a type of discount with a non-refundable price; if you cancel, no matter the reason, it's lost. NEVER book a price like that, no matter what!!
Edit: Lots of folks say to change the date and then cancel later with no penalty. Be careful, as this doesn't always work (won't work at my hotel). Check if the place you booked at will allow you to before you change the date."
69. And finally... "Keep a can of fart spray in your car. If you ever get pulled over, just give it a mist and act like you're having a messy emergency. Say goodbye to speeding tickets forever!"
Do you have any slightly shady life tips? Let us know in the comments below or via this anonymous form!
Comments have been edited for length/clarity.
English (US) 