1 week ago
12
We asked the BuzzFeed Community to tell us why they never plan on marrying their long-term partner. Here's what men specifically said:
Note: Some submissions come from this Reddit thread.
1. "I won’t marry her, sadly, because of the age gap between us. She’s eight years older than me, and I’d like to have more kids with someone younger."
—Anonymous, 41, Male, Florida
2. "My reason for not marrying her is that sex is basically nonexistent."
—Anonymous, 61, Male
3. "The intimacy was great. I would never marry her because the longer I know her, the more I realize she can’t stop talking. The lady talks about everything and everyone. On the surface, she’s sweet, but the longer you know her, the more you realize she has disdain for everything and everyone."
—Anonymous, 50 , Male, Florida
4. "I'm in a 10-year relationship and have no thought of proposing. We got pregnant very early in the relationship, and I have other kids as well. Our child together became the only thing she cares about; my kids see the favoritism as clear as day, double standards all over the place. Our child is 9, and she still sleeps in her room every night, even after countless conversations about giving space and, god forbid, sleeping next to me. All the while, she still throws comments about how I haven’t proposed. She also constantly begs me to let her be a stay-at-home mom even though all the kids are in school. We are more like roommates than anything, but neither of us wants to have to split time with our child. It’s not bad enough to leave, but not good enough to get married, which leaves us stuck, unfortunately."
—Anonymous, 38, Male, Colorado
5. "I knew I would never marry her the instant she said, 'You are the man. Men pay for everything.' She didn’t have a checking account."
—Anonymous, 53 Male, Warner Robins, GA
6. "I have been with this woman for 22 years. She does not clean. She does not cook, as she does not like paying bills. I have to pay all the bills, do all the cleaning, and do the cooking, so why do I need her? And we don’t have sex!"
—Anonymous, 50, Male, Maryland
7. "After a year of dating and then getting engaged, we had our first big fight, and she started screaming and swearing at me. I said, 'Settle down; why are you so upset?' She yelled at me, saying, 'You haven’t seen anything yet!'"
—Anonymous, 70, Male
8. "I knew I wouldn’t marry her when she started cheating less than six months in. She lied about it for 17 years. By the time she fessed up, we had a great kid. She continued to lie and cheat. I loved her, and we were together for 35 years, but not happily for the last 15. We’re done for good."
—Anonymous, Male, Montana
9. "Over half of marriages end in divorce. Would you jump out of a plane if they said there's a 50% chance your parachute won't open? Over 70% of divorces are initiated by women. Most of the time, the reason is I wasn't happy. As a man, why would I want to involve the government in my relationship? Why would I want to enter a contract where everything is against me? Even after all that, the main reason is that when you put a ring on it, everything changes. How many times have you seen someone who has been in a long-term relationship for years, and they get married, and six months later they're splitting up? If it ain't broke, don't fix it. And if it's broke, then don't get married thinking it'll fix it."
10. "I was told in my youth to look at the mother and aunts of your prospective wife. So, as a typical male pig, I used that as a sad excuse to dump them."
—Anonymous, 50, Male, Texas
11. "It was two things she said during one conversation about marriage after we both graduated from college: 1) 'You’ll have to start listening to adult music like Barbra Streisand and Barry Manilow' (I was into new wave and punk rock at the time) and 2) 'You can’t hang out with your friends after we get married; they are no good for you' (all these friends we’d both be hanging out with during our college years). WTF!? Goodbye, sweetie."
—Anonymous, 67, Male, New York
12. "Our sex life is bad, and I don't want to sign over all my stuff to a woman who might change her mind."
—Anonymous, Jim, Male, Vegas
13. "I never considered myself the marrying type. I was in a 15-year relationship with a woman where, the first day we met, I had said that I wanted neither marriage nor kids, so if she wanted that, we should not start anything. Anyway, the relationship ended, she cheated, and life went on. Then I ended up meeting a woman who sort of got in my head. She is witty, charming, intelligent, curious, and thinks and questions things, and we have these long, amazing conversations that leave me invigorated and happy, and suddenly I think, if she wanted to get married, I would not be opposed. I do not know if I just got older and wiser, or if deep down I knew that my ex was not the one."
14. And finally, "Because if I need a ring and a piece of paper to 'prove my commitment,' then it isn't worth it. Roughly 50% end in divorce anyway. Marriage doesn't prevent a breakup; it just makes it more complicated. Also, people use it as an excuse to stop trying."
Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
English (US) 