1 month ago
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There are approximately 1 million rules floating around about what guys should and shouldn’t do if they want women to like them. Don’t approach her at the gym. Don’t have a fish picture on your dating profile. Don’t be too clingy, too emotional, too anything. But with all that advice, have we ever stopped to ask women what they actually like?
Well, redditor u/ShockingPyro did, asking, “Women of Reddit, what is something men think you hate, but you actually love?” And judging by these 25 responses, guys may be stressing about the wrongggg things:
Note: We've also pulled responses from this Reddit thread.
1. "Short kings. I NEVER want a man taller than myself. I absolutely loathe it when someone looms over me. I have refused to even stand near some very tall guys. It's scary, and I want to look you in the eyes, not the nipples! If you're under 5'8", perfect, because then I can wear heels, but otherwise, 5'6" is just fine. Give me Robert Downey Jr., not a basketball player."
2. "Personally, I enjoy seeing vulnerable and silly men who enjoy pampering themselves, and who have hobbies they enjoy regardless of what that hobby is (provided the hobby doesn't hurt them or anyone else). I married a nerd who constantly makes dad and fart jokes, loves it when I buff out his nails to make them shine or put deep-conditioning treatments in his hair, and will tell me when he feels overwhelmed or like he isn't enough. You know, like a human."
"I was going through a divorce many, many moons ago. My friend gave me one piece of advice: 'Date a nerd!' I did, it worked, and we've been happily married for a long while! :) He's a feminist, kind, caring, and funny!"
3. "When he gets really excited explaining something that I know absolutely nothing about. I actually love listening to it."
"My boyfriend is really into gaming and PC building. I have absolutely no clue what he’s talking about and won’t retain any of the information. But boy do I love hearing him talk about it. 🥰"
"So, my husband thinks I would hate him nerding. He LOVES Godzilla, and he recently learned that there's a Godzilla theme park in Japan, and he secretly wants to go, but he doesn't actually want to because he'll know I'll be bored. I'll have the time of my life. Not because of the park, but because I get to see him in his happy place, and seeing that would temporarily cure my depression. If I ever get a good-paying job, I'm taking him to Japan, and we're going to the theme park."
4. "Guys who have interests that are not traditionally masculine. When I worked at a blood donation center, the men who got flirted with were the guys who unironically liked that the waiting room played Disney films. One guy liked puzzle games and made all of the phlebotomists laugh when he was unironically excited that he found a Frozen-themed puzzle game. TBH, it's not necessarily about the hobbies themselves. It's about a man being so secure in who he is that he lives his life. A lot of insecure dudes curate their hobbies on what they think impresses people. The ones that don't do that stand out — in a good way."
5. "My husband thinks I hate it when he goes golfing. I'm always thrilled to get alone time."
6. "I met my husband on a dating app, and everything that attracted me to him on our first date are things the manosphere swears women hate. When I first sat down at the table, I noticed his hand was shaking from nervousness when he reached for the specials menu; it put me at ease immediately. He was focused on me and attentive, asked me questions about myself, and was open and genuine when I asked him questions about himself. He was open about his nerdy hobbies (Star Trek, building computers, audio engineering). Even though I didn't share those interests, listening to him talk about them with earnestness anyway was a huge green flag."
"He did not bring up sex or make any comments about my body, laughed out loud several times with his teeth showing, offered to pay for dinner but then wasn't ego-bruised or embarrassed when I said no thank you and paid for myself, didn't move to kiss or hug me at the end of the night, only opened his arms when I asked if he wanted a hug. And he didn't try to turn the hug into anything else. Then, he texted me immediately after to ask if I got home alright and to tell me he had a good time, which I found refreshing and charming. We've been together now for 13 years!"
"I met my wife long before the manosphere was a thing. Social media was just getting big. But when we first met, she was dating a successful guy who worked in finance; meanwhile, I was broke and did not know what I wanted to be in life. She ended it with the finance guy because the dude was boring as fuck and only talked about work and money. He would take her out to fancy dinners, but was dull. Meanwhile, I would get us tipsy, then hit up the arcade or mini-golf or something. Turns out fun > rich."
"How can I even learn what men like if they're too stoic to show what's working or not? 😭"
7. "Seeing my guy having fun guy time adventures with his friends. It's nice to see."
8. "When they get nervous and fumble their words. Also, whenever they're cornballs. I love it when they don't keep up the cool guy act and just let their clumsy side show."
"OMG nervous guys are the freaking cutest."
9. "Something I really appreciated about my husband is that he didn’t speak unkindly about his ex-wife when we first started to get to know each other. Although I can’t say I’ve never heard him complain about her since, he holds himself just as responsible for the breakup of their marriage, even though the catalyst for the divorce was his discovery that she was having an affair with a friend of his. Unfortunately, that means I’m the red flag in our relationship because I would cross the street to avoid interacting with any of my exes. But I like to think I’ve grown a lot!"
10. "My husband is on good terms with most of his exes and is still friends with a few. I probably would have found this threatening when I was younger, but now I think it’s a sign of good character. My last serious boyfriend before my husband said all his exes were crazy, and that I was so rational and such a breath of fresh air. Well, I was fully crazy by the time we broke up, and I feel embarrassed for thinking I wasn’t like the other girls. My husband also has female friends just generally, and I think it’s such a green flag that he likes women enough to be friends with them. Not all that common in my experience."
11. "I am not speaking on behalf of all women, but I wish I would actually get approached. It's never happened to me."
12. "Emotional intelligence/emotional maturity. No, I do not think you are weak or less of a man because you have FEELINGS. If I ask you if you are okay and you say 'fine' but then I later find out you are having a traumatic week, that is not fun for either of us, OK."
13. "I don't speak for all women, but certain men think women hate short men, or men who don't go to the gym, or men who don't have high-paying jobs. I don't hate any of those things."
"This. Granted, it's all down to personal preference. But the most attractive guy I ever met was overweight and had a decent-paying job (not six figures), but he could make me laugh all day long, and he was super understanding and respectful to everyone he met, regardless of gender. He was already married, so I never ended up pursuing him, but his wife is also equally amazing, so I just put them on a pedestal as 'couples goals.'"
14. "A little clinginess, but not over the top. The 'come here, I’m not done cuddling you yet' kind. I secretly love knowing a guy wants me around."
15. "When they cry! Every time a man has cried in front of me, he’s apologized. For me, in those moments, I feel overwhelmed with gratitude and eager to help in whatever way I can. It’s an honor to be trusted with heavy feelings, and when someone has the courage to be vulnerable like that, it gives me permission to do the same if I ever need it."
17. "Short shorts. Give us the thigh, fuzzy little man peach."
18. "Making noise during sex. Please stop trying to intentionally stay as quiet as possible during sex like you're the faceless dude in a porno trying not to turn off the other dudes watching by drawing attention to yourself. This isn't porn, and you're not at home jerking off, having to stay silent lest your mother hear. When you're fucking me, please huff and puff and grunt and groan. I need dirty animalistic fucking, not sanitized, quiet, polite fucking."
"Yes. Even the little girly whimpers."
19. "Staying in and having non-exciting evenings. My husband and I have an age gap, and he is the older partner. He's always worried I'm going to get bored of him, but I love the quiet life."
20. "When men lose their hair. Unless it’s a hideous combover or similar attempt to hide it, I do not care. I don’t care if he’s balding, mostly bald, or bald. It’s not a factor if the rest of him is on point."
21. "I personally love that my partner is not afraid to be perceived as feminine. He knows virtually nothing about sports, he likes pretty things, and he cries during movies at the same parts that I do. He likes it when I surprise him with flowers, and his engagement ring is actually more intricately decorated than mine — he proposed first, but I still did a second, ceremonial proposal when I found the ring of his dreams, and I love that I catch him admiring it all the time. Overall, he’s a very soft, gentle guy who loves to be the little spoon, and the best part is that he wouldn't be at all embarrassed if I told people that."
22. "Being the breadwinner. I didn't get my master's degree to be a stay-at-home mom. I think it's cute that my boyfriend will be a house husband."
23. "Dick pics/underwear pics...BUT they have to be solicited and ideally sent AFTER we've met in person, conversed, and flirted."
"I've had guys I was seeing refuse to send me dick pics because they were convinced all women hate receiving dick pics of any kind, even though I asked. They thought I must be lying because it's not possible for a woman to want that..."
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