"I Lick His Eyes While He Sleeps Sometimes": 28 Creepy Confessions People Would Never Admit To Their Partners, But Have Been Doing Behind Their Back For Years And Years

There's an old saying that states, "Love makes you do wild things." Sometimes, those things are kind of cute; other times, they are... well, let's just say questionable at best.

1. "Before we were dating, he came over to my house for a party. The next morning, when I was cleaning up, I licked his empty beer cans where his mouth had been."

—u/MadBloodEvil

2. "I had a huuuuge crush on a guy, and while stalking his entire existence before we went on our first date, I stumbled across his mom's Facebook. Eight years prior, she posted her mother's (his grandmother's) tombstone and a photo of the funeral program. On the program, there was a photo of her and a mention of a super niche interest. On our first date later that week, I brought up how a cute, nice old lady in the bathroom named [insert his grandmother's name] just complimented me and chatted me up about [insert niche interest] and how she had a birthday coming up soon (which the tombstone told me). I described her as I saw her in the program, and he genuinely thought his grandmother's spirit appeared to me. Because how else would I know those things, right? I knew he was very family-oriented, and sure enough, he never let it go. He would tell everyone about it! We dated for two years. Never told him that it was a sham."

—u/ZazaHarlow

3. "One time, back when my husband and I were still dating, he had some X-rays done of most of his body. Long story short, it was super difficult to save any of the images off the janky CD-ROM they gave him, but I was able to help him do so. That wasn’t the creepy part. The creepy part is that I have kept them on purpose all this time, making sure that when I transfer files to a new computer, those always come along. Now, 18 years and several computers later, I still have a folder buried deep in my files. He is super attractive, and I find it beautiful and intimate to be able to look 'inside' him in that way. Every few months or so, especially when he is traveling for long periods and I really miss him, I dig up the images again and just look at them. Yes! It’s weird. It’s embarrassing. Some people have secret stashes of other types of images on their computer, but I just have random, perfectly SFW medical images of my spouse."

—u/_feralhousewife_

4. "We were on the outs, and I suspected they were seeing someone else. I turned the lights and music on in the garage so they would think I was in there, and they drove off. The thing is, I was secretly in the back of their vehicle so I could see where they were actually going. After they went to their destination, I hopped out of the back of the vehicle. Never told anyone this before now."

—u/Practical-Shower-69

5. "I collected clippings of his body hair from the bathroom after he shaved, mixed it with some of my own, and stuffed a small teddy bear with it. I gifted it to him for Christmas, saying it was our 'baby'. Art school will do weird shit to your brain. I have thankfully stopped being so fucking weird, creepy, and 'innovative' now. 😅"

—u/disgruntledchump28

6. "I had just started dating someone and stayed overnight for the first time. A bunch of her friends had gone out with us and crashed there. The bubble guts from drinking hit me as soon as I woke up. I tried to go to the upstairs bathroom, but someone was in it. I tried the downstairs bathroom, but it was also occupied. There was no time, and I had no choice. I ran outside, dropped my pants, and shit along the side of her house in a busy neighborhood in the middle of the day."

—u/Mundane_Hat_7349

7. "He used to sleep through his alarm and often asked me to call him to wake him up. I didn’t think I was putting in enough effort, and he was being really cute, so I went over to wake him up in person. I went in through the window and woke him up. He wasn’t excited, but he wasn’t mad; it was just really awkward. I cringe every time I think about it. I bet he tells people about the unhinged girl who snuck into his house while he was sleeping. 🫣"

—u/Routine_Bluejay4678

8. "The only reason I’m with my husband is that I stalked another man. 😂 Okay, stalked is strong, but I had a crush on this guy who was in two of my classes in university, and I was too chicken shit to introduce myself. Well, every class has a roster available, so I cross-referenced the rosters and looked up each person who was in both classes on Facebook. I found the guy I had a crush on, discovered we had mutuals, and convinced a mutual to introduce us. Crush was an amazing guy, super nice, super chill, fun, etc., but totally caught up on his ex. Over months of getting to know him, I made tons of friends in his circle. Ultimately, I met the man who is now my husband, but at the time was a rebound hookup. Crush is living his best life, and I’m still on good terms with him, and my husband and I have been together for 12 years."

—u/Nicc-Quinn

9. "I kept a ~sample~ of him as a keepsake."

—u/amisjoyful

"I don't want you to elaborate, but I also I really do."

—u/advicethrowaway2026

"In addition to other things... I have some of his hair too, actually."

—u/amisjoyful

10. "I love sniffing his underwear. Don’t care. I wouldn’t tell him because he gets weird about being a smelly dude, but I like to fool around with him before he showers becuase the smell of his funk is hot to me."

—u/zombiekisser2k

11. "Well, we haven’t done it yet, but when I was dating my partner, I told him that if I die before him, my final wishes were to cremate me, bake a bit of my ashes into an apple pie (my fave), and have him eat it. He agreed, and we are now married, lol."

—u/CATP1LE

13. "We're long-distance, and he left me his hoodie last time he visited. Instead of wearing it, I put a pillow inside it and keep it next to me when I sleep at night. Sometimes I'll wrap the arms around me so it's like he's holding me."

—u/OkLychee8797

14. "I went through all his photos, and Google translated the comments that were left in his native language because I wanted to know if any girls had ever flirted with him 10 years ago, when he was 15. 😵‍💫"

—u/Beneficial-Band-3074

15. "I’m really interested in genealogy, so I’ve done, like, full-blown research on his ancestors. I did give him some info on a few things that I found interesting, but he doesn’t know just how deep I went into his history, lmfao."

—u/Giagi99

16. "I was so in love and found him so attractive that, at the first opportunity in his apartment, I wiped my whole face with his towel — his bath towel. ☠️"

—u/Aneladgam11

18. "As a super insecure man dating in the gay community, it's difficult to find another gay man who isn't into the hookup culture. When my current boyfriend and I first started dating, I would download Grindr and drive by his house when he was at home to see if he had an account. Honestly, I sometimes still do this. He has my location, so I have to activate an old phone and leave my current one at home. I will immediately deactivate/delete it and never actually use it to look around or talk to anybody. He's never given me any reason not to trust him, but I think just being blatantly lied to and gaslit in basically every past relationship just makes me skeptical and has fucked me up. It's exhausting."

—u/Individual_Test2432

19. "I have stolen his underwear and hidden them in my own underwear drawer (and worn them). I bought his signature cologne so I can smell him when he's away and took pictures of him when he's sleeping because he's so darn cute. He doesn't know I've done these things, but if he knew, I know he would not mind. He would just be like, 'You do you, babe. We both know you're cray cray.'"

—u/sopijanes

20. "I linked his texts to my phone browser so I could read all his texts as they came in. On two occasions, I sent texts from my phone as him. He was none the wiser. No, I don't do it anymore, and no, I don't recommend it."

—u/Real-Goal2666

21. "Before my now-wife and I started dating, she invited me to a party at her house with a bunch of other grad students. We played a game called 'Snappa' that involved tossing dice into beer glasses, then chugging the beer and rolling the dice. It was her turn; she spit out the die and rolled it, and then it was my turn. I had a chance to rinse it off before playing, and while my back was turned, I popped it in my mouth before rinsing it. We’ve been together since 2009, and married for 10 years. I only told her last year. 😅 But we promised 'no take-backsies' in our vows, so I wasn’t too scared, lol."

—u/Candid_avogadro

22. "I thought he was really cute when he was asleep. So I took a video of him sleeping when he had an anti-snoring butterfly bandage on his nose. We broke up five years ago. It's still on my phone. I WANT TO SEND MYSELF TO JAIL OMG I AM SO WEIRD."

—u/wonderfulkneecap

23. "I used to date someone in the military, and when he went back after leave, I kept a straw he used and would kiss it."

—u/LamveeLC

24. "I stole his jacket because it smelled like him, but I helped him look for it because I’m not a monster, after all."

—u/GenevieveMonette

25. "I accidentally found my girlfriend's house before she told me where she lived because she sent me a picture of her on her porch, and I happened to pass by it while taking a walk. I didn't tell her I knew where she lived, but she pretty quickly felt comfortable telling me on her own, and I now live with her in a different house that we bought together."

—u/Biological-organism

26. "After our second date, I took pictures of him when he wasn't aware. At first, they just made me smile. So I kept taking more of him, as well as pics of things that made me think of him. Then I realized I was falling in love with him and took pictures of him during those moments. I ended up cataloging my entire experience of loving him. I made a playlist, made a scrapbook of the moments that made me fall for him, and gave it to him the same night he proposed to me (it was our anniversary). Obviously, he knows about it now, but I felt like a creep for a while."

—u/R3gularHuman

27. "I used her used pads to... well. Yeah, that's enough."

—u/ElmoIsGG

28. And finally, "Hmm, definitely all the spells I've cast."

—u/neckshots

What's the wildest thing you've ever done in the name of a crush that your partner has no idea about? Tell me your story in the comments or use the anonymous form below. Your response may be featured in an upcoming BuzzFeed article!

Note: Responses have been edited for length/clarity.